Think Again -yorkregion(York) @SF湾区华人论坛:SF湾区枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of San Francisco

枫下家园 / 家庭与子女 / 各位父母和准父母们, 你们是准备自己带BABY呢还是准备送回国给老人家带? -bulldog(bulldog); 2002-8-24 {294} (#711035@0)
我儿子有半岁多了,巨好玩,看着他慢慢的会笑,会叫,会翻身,会坐.每一天都有很多的惊喜.能和BB一起成长,真的很好.可是LG要上班,我就要上学.觉得实在没精力带他.送回国嘛,又非常舍不得,国内的空气环境和食物也不太让人放心.巨郁闷.我认识好几个朋友都打算三几个月就送回去的.这一两年造就了好多这种小得不能再小的太空人.

要是我没记错的话,连这里最出名的小皮皮猪好象也要给送回去了. -bulldog(bulldog); 2002-8-24 (#711038@0)

我跟他一起回去, 不是送回去. 嘿嘿 -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-24 (#711661@0)

我见你连PPZ的CRIB都要送人了, 就以为PPZ要等到能睡小床了才回来.嘿嘿 -bulldog(bulldog); 2002-8-25 (#711834@0)

CRIB我不喜欢,小孩伸也伸不开.抱出来还挺费劲. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-25 (#711846@0)

CRIB再小,我儿子也试过转了180度.那你给PPZ用什么,? -bulldog(bulldog); 2002-8-25 (#711880@0)

不知道, 回来再说, -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-25 (#711887@0)

睡塌塌米，既可以转360度又不怕摔下来。 -beckie(煮一餐); 2002-8-26 (#713430@0)

到是好主意. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-26 (#714740@0)

请问小皮皮猪妈妈，小皮皮猪已经拿到护照了吗？如何办理的？因为我也准备为我的BB办理护照，带她回国内。谢谢！ -laozh(ooo); 2002-8-26 (#714816@0)

俺也有类似的问题。老公正上学，我本打算明年上学，到时孩子也才几个月。劳工坚决不让把孩子送回去，且不说空气和环境，就说老人吧，虽有经验， -tri(tri); 2002-8-24 {192} (#711048@0)
但怕溺爱孩子，教育不科学。现在省事了，怕将来麻烦更大。再说孩子是很可爱的，能和孩子一起能给生活带来很多欢乐。但如果不送回去，我就只有多做一年家庭主妇。我到是想早上学，早工作，早挣钱养家，闷啊！
在请问你一个问题：你生孩子时是自己带的吗？辛苦吗？ -tri(tri); 2002-8-24 (#711053@0)

如果运气不要,碰上BB是那种一天到晚要抱的,那就极辛苦,否则一般过了满月都不会太难带的.放心,好些人都说在这生的孩子都比较好带. -bulldog(bulldog); 2002-8-25 (#711828@0)

一样从早抱到晚. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-25 (#711845@0)

I don`t believe, you always play with Rolia -blue_blooded(Street Urchin); 2002-8-25 (#711849@0)

没看都是半夜吗? -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-25 (#711853@0)

you are the waistcoat of midnightblues? hoho -blue_blooded(Street Urchin); 2002-8-25 (#711857@0)

你还真瞧得起我, 那可是有文采的著名MM啊. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-25 (#711878@0)

为什么要送回国呢, -cher(cher); 2002-8-24 {258} (#711056@0)
一个工作,一个上学的话可以申请父母过来帮你们一下,我认识的一些人即使两个人都在上学也不愿把孩子送回去,孩子跟你最亲的时间也就几年,等他稍微大一些就不爱和大人粘着了,再说你会MISS他学走路,学说话的黄金时期.三思而后行,我宁愿每学期少选一些课,迟些毕业也不愿把孩子送回去.

没有工作，两个都在上学也能申请父母来吗？ -tri(tri); 2002-8-24 (#711058@0)

可以的,但我不知道具体的要求是什么,我一个同学正在上学期间,他太太没工作,申请他母亲来也成功了,住了六个月. -cher(cher); 2002-8-24 (#711063@0)

孩子在身边,要管他吃饭,洗澡,睡觉,家务比两个人多了很多另外最费神的还要管他玩, -bulldog(bulldog); 2002-8-24 {163} (#711154@0)
在孩子刚会走路到能辨别是非这段时间,真是看少一眼都不行.孩子不知深浅,什么都要试,还要你陪他玩.要是每晚要等到孩子睡了后才能挑灯看书.不知够不够精力完不完得成学业. 犹豫.

为什么要生孩子,你不如养只狗算了.你嫌麻烦就不要小孩,要了就要对他负责. -calgarycowboy(cowboy); 2002-8-24 (#711726@0)

这帽子扣得可够大的. 各人条件不同, 考虑问题方法不同, 各有各的决定. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-24 (#711757@0)

有无帖过famous小皮皮猪的照片？ -nicecat(乖乖猫); 2002-8-25 (#711818@0)

http://photos.yahoo.com/greybluesky -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-25 (#711831@0)

thx. can't wait to have a look. -nicecat(乖乖猫); 2002-8-25 (#711833@0)

创造健康BB新概念. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-25 (#711851@0)

God bless all your family together at an earlier time. -nicecat(乖乖猫); 2002-8-25 {74} (#711860@0)
It must be a great pity for such little lovely baby's father to be apart.

我们没要APART呀 -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-25 (#711862@0)

不好意思, 你说爸爸呀, 他很快就跟进. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-25 (#711868@0)
Then should be best back in china. -nicecat(乖乖猫); 2002-8-25 {66} (#711882@0)
Please make sure if such little baby could travel in an aeroplane.

没问题, 例子多了, -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-25 {33} (#711889@0)
需要给LG一点时间, 完成点重要的事.

你肯定没孩子,说得轻巧, 真因为要对他负责, -bulldog(bulldog); 2002-8-25 {146} (#711790@0)
才想要给他一个好的环境,所以才犹豫不决是和我们一起,咬咬牙过两年苦日子,还是等我们过两年生活基础好些了才过来.毕竟老人家带孙子,总尽心过DAY CARE的人带.

my son come to Canada next month.See the picture.
-calgarycowboy(cowboy); 2002-8-25 (#712148@0)

我和老公都不想把孩子送回去。孩子只有跟父母在一起，才有完整的童年。老公工作养家，我在家带孩子，做家务，看着孩子一天天长大，一天比一天可爱，辛苦也是甜蜜。 -jhui(huhu); 2002-8-24 (#711165@0)

唉, 你LG够可怜的. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-25 (#711874@0)

Why is that? Anything wrong with working husband taking care of the family ? -ingridchao(Ingrid); 2002-8-25 (#712160@0)
你怎么会觉得可怜呢？当心话多错多呦！还是多留点时间和心思看宝宝吧。 -jhui(huhu); 2002-8-26 (#714742@0)

这地方好象是言论自由的吧. 我自会安排自己的生活, 请不必多操心. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-27 (#715695@0)

那你也不用操心别人的LG是否可怜。 -jhui(huhu); 2002-8-27 (#716126@0)

唉, 不好意思, 我是想说, 你LG很不容易. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-28 (#716724@0)

Actually,most of the successful working husbands want their wives to stay -syz(水中花); 2002-8-27 {188} (#715686@0)
at home taking care of the kids. Nothing wrong with it only Jia Ting Fen Gong Bu Tong. This is quite normal in China now. You really should go back to China and see what is going on there.

这是在加拿大, 谋生可不象中国那么容易, 而且, 女的比男的好找工作. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-27 (#715699@0)

Exactly right this is Canada, a country we came to make a quality living rather than a hard living. I'd have gone back China if I had felt it's so hard to live here. -syz(水中花); 2002-8-27 (#716604@0)
不谦虚地说，我来加拿大的时间比坛子里大部分人都久，还头一次听新来的人说“这里女的比男得好找工作”，也许和你个人的经历有关。但事实上，只要不靠出卖大腿，男女的找工机会均等。 -syz(水中花); 2002-8-28 (#717544@0)

你是说我出卖大腿? 这我可得跟你谈一谈了, 另外. 我实在不是新来的. -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-28 (#717576@0)
来多久啦，这位？ -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2002-8-28 (#717579@0)

不能和父母在一起的孩子才真正可怜！ -antz(Me); 2002-8-27 (#716216@0)
不是无可厚非嘛？这末说人家太不nice了吧？瞧把人家气的，也没招你啊？夫妻一方工作，一方在家，这样的家庭在世界各地都极为普遍，怎末你好象刚听说似的？你的生活圈子肯定没有西人，否则你这句话准把他们吓跑。 -syz(水中花); 2002-8-28 (#717520@0)

摆拖, 西人可没那么容易被吓跑吧. 而且他们之间男女更平等些吧, -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-28 (#717535@0)

你的言论体现男女平等了？那人家714742怎末会生气？用脑子自己分析分析！ -syz(水中花); 2002-8-28 (#717555@0)

上班也好，在家带孩子也好，都是为了家，为了孩子，不存在谁可怜谁不可怜的问题。 -antz(Me); 2002-8-28 (#718506@0)

Agree. though that the hard work and effort you put into raising your children with love and kind discipline will reward you and your husband later when they have grown up to be well-behaved nice children. -syz(水中花); 2002-8-27 (#715743@0)
Again, I couldn't agree more. Just want to add that taking care of kids is truly a full time job well respected by everyonoe . I'd be proud of you if I were your husband. -syz(水中花); 2002-8-27 (#716626@0)

人和人不一样, 做什么选择的都有. 你有什么意见说了就得了, 说那么多遍也不能说明那就是真理. 有的女的爱在家看孩子, 有的就爱事业, 我觉得都无可厚非. 为什么不同于你意见就是不对? -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-27 (#716739@0)

你可真历害啊，大家发表不同的意见，并没针对谁，你吃心驳完楼上驳楼下，言论自由到你这里就行不通？有你这样的妈，敢说你家孩子将来不会吃半点亏，至于你LG嘛，怎末觉得他在家比在外更可怜! -syz(水中花); 2002-8-28 (#717490@0)

我怎么看是你老把这贴子提到上面来, 一句话重复了一遍又一遍, -bluegreysky(绿袖); 2002-8-28 (#717541@0)

当然不能和孩子分开。 -xiaoxue_ca(小雪); 2002-8-24 {441} (#711281@0)
我平时full-time上班，part-time上学，已经忙得焦头烂额。即使这样，我也从没打算把我未来的宝宝送回去。很多关于儿童教育的书中讲到，0-3岁是人生中最重要的时期，父母一定要亲自教育，绝对不能和孩子分开。否则，会成为终身的遗憾。
当然，这一切还只是我的设想。也许将来会面临许多困难。但我目前是这样打算的，自己带，父母在初期来帮一下忙，然后送daycare或送到家庭幼儿园。
推荐一本书“发现母亲”，王东华著。Toronto Public Library可以借到。
祝宝宝健康成长。

我儿子还没有过来,他的性格都有点缺陷了,跟着他妈妈两年了,都有点女性化了,下个月就来加拿大,我得好好调教.让他更MAN一点.所以说,不能让孩子和父母分开太久,影响一生. -calgarycowboy(cowboy); 2002-8-25 (#712163@0)
Is the book in English? If is, what is the English name? Thanks! -liangwei(LIANGLIANG); 2002-8-25 (#712406@0)

No, it is in Chinese. You can search it by "PIN YIN". -xiaoxue_ca(小雪); 2002-8-25 (#712523@0)

Think Again -yorkregion(York); 2002-8-24 {2111} (#711641@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I have a six-month baby boy and both my husband and I are full-time working(I returned to work when the baby was about three month old). My husband is working at normal working hour, 9-5. But I am very very busy, lots of overtime. Only good thing is I can do most of my overtime from home.
Right now my parent are helping us during the day and I am taking care of the baby at night. But they are leaving soon.
We never think about sending baby back to china since we think no matter how hard it is, no matter what kind of stress we have to deal with at work, the moment we see the baby, the moment he gives us a big smile,all the hard work has been paid back.
We recorded most of his first time from born till now. Whenever we watch the tape, in the botton of our hearts, all the memory came back and it is priceless.
For us, sending the baby back is not good for the baby(think about the playground in most of the communities, where u can find them back in china? not even mention the health care system and environment), it is not good for parents either. You are going to miss all the milestones and probably will regret for it later.
Donot worry about household work. It is very easy to take care of adults. For baby, like mine, he is on fumular and some solid( I buy bottled ones for him). He loves going out so we bring him for walk twice a day (arond 7:00am before we leave for work and 6:00pm after we come back home).After dinner, arond 7:30pm, both my husband and I bath him and all of us have a great time together. Then I feed him at 8:00pm and put him down around 8:30pm.
After 8:30pm, it is our time, We do all the housework and most of time I have to work (in the past two-three months, I have to work about 10-12 hours a day + 1.5 hour traffic time).
Baby will get up once (normally around 4:00am) for feeding( I will get up then feed him) and then go back to sleep untill 6am.
So my experience is , if we set up rountins for baby, he will really enjoy it which will make your life much easy to manage.
Trust me, all the hard work will be paid back in no time.
Hope this helps.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

thanks. u are a great mom! -bulldog(bulldog); 2002-8-25 {366} (#711819@0)
i will think about it. i have one more question: after ur parents go back to china. what's ur plan? take ur baby to day care or babysitter?u know, the baby is too small to speak. and arround 10 months old, they can go everywhere.you need to follow him every minute(my mom told me).i don't think day care or babysitter will care the baby as careful as the relative.

Thanks for comment -yorkregion(York); 2002-8-25 {1657} (#712038@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛We have some friends over here in toronto and one of their moms willing to take care of the baby for us. Our plan is right after my parent leaving, I will take one week off and then my husband takes another week off. We will stay with baby and the babysitter(let's say so now, easier to understand), so they can have enough time to get to know each other. If necessary, we will take the third week off too.
For babysitter, of course, they are not as careful as we are (or our relatives are). What we can do is finding the best we can. Yes, baby probably will have some hard time, but eventually they will grow up.
For your other concerns, I have the same too. So I prepared something:
1. I have a planpan and will leave it in babysitter's place, baby can either have nap or play in it.
2. I have a baby walker and will leave it in babysitter's place, hope this make it a little bit easier for babysitter.
3. I also prepared some other stuff, like baby swing, high chair, stroller.... and some toys. If needed, babysitter can take whatever she wants.
Also both my husband and I have to change our schedule accordingly. He will drop the baby on the way to work around 8:30 - 9:00am. And I have to leave for work earlier and pick up the baby around 4:00pm. Expense wise, It is not very expensive to have a elder to babysit( maybe the cheapest) and you can have some tax refund too.
Of course, it is not easy, maybe very hard. But spending all the time together, no matter how hard/or easy it is, for us, this is all the family about.
Do worry, baby will grow up and so do we.
Any question, let me know please. Actually, I would love to discuss.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

8:30pm 睡当然好了，摊上个小家伙11：00睡7点左右醒才惨呢，唉，借鉴不了。 -magnolia(magnolia); 2002-8-26 (#713843@0)

Some of My Experience -yorkregion(York); 2002-8-26 {1615} (#714721@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Believe it or not, I had some very difficult time too. The first month when I came back to work, my little one still got up 4-5 times at night. I had to hold him to keep him asleep almost whole night. Every morning, my husband was so worried when I drove to work. I still remember one night, when I put him down, he cried so hard, even in my arms. Finally I thought since no way I can let him happy, so I put him down in his crib and left his room. He cried for about 15 minutes and fell in sleep. That night, he woke up twice and cried for about 5 - 10 minutes each time, no body entered his room so he fell back to sleep again. Since then every night he only woke up once and every thing was on track.
For the bed time, my experience is routine is very very importance. (actually routine will make both your and baby's life much more enjoyable). We always do almost exactly same thing at almost exactly same time before bed: have a dinner, have a walk, play together, have a bath and feeding. This way, baby knows what to expect next and you won't fight with him.
For me, there is no right or wrong answer to the way you being a parent. Set up a routine for your baby, and stick to it, your baby eventually will figure it out. Once both you and your baby happy, you are a great parent.
Only drawback of baby routine is, as parents, we have to give up many our schedule/or activity in order to protect baby's routine.
Also in order to raise a happy baby, the support (moral and daily activity) is essential.
This is only my experience. May not apply to you. Just for your reference.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

Sorry, I mean support of husband is essential -yorkregion(York); 2002-8-26 (#714752@0)

国内的空气环境和食物不是最大的问题，这么差的环境，咱们不也太太平平长了这么大么。 -okokok(㊣◣闹闹◢㊣); 2002-8-24 (#711756@0)

我同意！别在走出国门后看中国，就总觉得咱们的祖国如何如何落后。我们也快乐地长大了呀。 -cindylaw(风之花); 2002-8-26 (#713511@0)

窃以为让老人带孩子,是最大的不孝. -kraft(craft); 2002-8-25 {76} (#712570@0)
父母幸幸苦苦养你那么大,到头来还要带你的孩子.老人带孩子,一般来说会衰老得很快.

I don't think so. Every time when I look at my father playing with my son, I know my father enjoys it so much. My mother said that when my father was in China, he lost his temper often. But now, it never happened. -firsttry(firsttry); 2002-8-26 (#713432@0)

我独自带5岁的儿子和3岁的女儿。小女1岁九个月时被我送回去过。小家伙 -beckie(煮一餐); 2002-8-26 {170} (#713419@0)
整整一个月没有笑容。给吃就吃，给玩就玩。在公园见背影跟妈妈差不多的阿姨就冲过去抱人。眼泪汪汪却不肯听我电话。我受不了，接回来了。亲子关系得从小培养。你爱他，也得让他爱你。
我是怎么样都要把小孩带在身边, 要不我就不生他(她). 所以我结婚9年都不要小孩. 父母带的前提是我们一定要在身边. 绝对不能让爷爷奶奶单独带, 会宠坏的, 我弟弟就是例子! 快30岁的人了, 还结了婚, 父母来加拿大前还要给他留生活费, 唉! -back(我想归去,可是..哪里?); 2002-8-26 (#713578@0)
坚决自己带！ -win(秋天的菠菜); 2002-8-26 {12} (#713579@0)
只要不太麻烦

问题是带小孩不可能不麻烦吧. 我悲观的想法是, 幸运的话带到23岁(希望他大学毕业罗), 不幸运得话, 操心一辈子. 我应该向西人学习. -back(我想归去,可是..哪里?); 2002-8-26 (#713594@0)

不太麻烦！= 不麻烦 -win(秋天的菠菜); 2002-8-26 (#713650@0)

For new immigrant I think child bring more happy than trouble. -mayihelp(小蚂蚁); 2002-8-27 {957} (#716690@0)
I'd like to share my experience. I had just landed for about 4 months. my son is less than 2 years old when we were landing. He adapted here very soon and feel very happy playing in the park with his parents. At first I thought I should send him back because there are a lot of reasons,especially money. But now I think no matter how hard life will be, my son will live with me. It seems the only reason that I cann't tolerate to be apart from him. I think whether he will be my only child. And I don't think it is wise to have a child and send it back. Daycare is a good place for the kids. Now I send my child to a privte daycare which cost 605/mon. Beside daycare routine can give the kid a regular life.
I hope I can find job soon, I think any job can earn more than that. And the kid's smile from hearts will erase the body's pain. I think now kids is the future of their parents. Money can't buy the love from your kids.

实事求是的说:不应该把小孩子和父母分开,如果能克服的话.其实你LG工作, 你自己读书,这是很正常的状况,没有什么特殊,我们也是那么过来的.可以: 　 -laocanadian(哦加拿大); 2002-8-29 {280} (#719100@0)
1.接你的父母或他的父母过来探亲,住他个1-2年.
2: 然后实在没有人带,还可以送到DAYＣＡＲＥ，大不了就是花点钱，但是
　却避免了好多问题，如思念小孩，脾气惯坏，空气污染，食物污染等等
　担忧．

要知道，也许自己带小孩累一些，但是你从他那里得到的快乐绝对超过
你的体力付出．

祝愿好运

@San Francisco

Think Again

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