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> >>>How To Shower Like A Woman
> >>>
> >>>1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
> >>>laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
> >>>
> >>>2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If
> >>>you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up
> >>>any exposed flesh and rush to bathroom.
> >>>
> >>>3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and
> >>>stick out your gut so that you can complain and
> >>>whine even more about how you're getting fat.
> >>>
> >>>4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth,
> >>>legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
> >>>
> >>>5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey
> >>>shampoo with 83 added vitamins
> >>>
> >>>6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey
> >>>shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
> >>>
> >>>7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey
> >>> conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave
> >>>on hair for fifteen minutes.
> >>>
> >>>8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
> >>>for ten minutes until red raw.
> >>>
> >>>9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and
> >>>Jaffa Cake body wash.
> >>>
> >>>10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least
> >>>fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has
> >>>all come off).
> >>>
> >>>11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini
> >>>area but decide to get it waxed instead.
> >>>
> >>>12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband
> >>>flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
> >>>
> >>>13. Turn off shower.
> >>>
> >>>14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray
> >>>mold spots with Tilex.
> >>>
> >>>15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a
> >>>small African country. Wrap hair in super
> >>>absorbent second towel.
> >>>
> >>>16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a
> >>>zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
> >>>
> >>>17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
> >>>towel on head.
> >>>
> >>>18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way,
> >>>cover up any exposed and then rush to bedroom to
> >>>spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>How To Shower Like A Man
> >>>
> >>>1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
> >>>bed and leave them in a pile on the floor.
> >>>
> >>>2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your
> >>>girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her making the
> >>>"woo hoo" sound.
> >>>
> >>>3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and
> >>>suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire
> >>>the size of your dick in the mirror, scratch your balls
> >>>and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
> >>>
> >>>4. Get in the shower.
> >>>
> >>>5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't
> >>>use one)
> >>>
> >>>6. Wash your face
> >>>
> >>>7. Wash your armpits
> >>>
> >>>8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the
> >>>shower.
> >>>
> >>>9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
> >>>
> >>>10. Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar.
> >>>
> >>>11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
> >>>
> >>>12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
> >>>
> >>>13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in
> >>>the mirror.
> >>>
> >>>14. Pee (in the shower).
> >>>
> >>>15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to
> >>>notice water on the floor because you left the
> >>>curtain hang out of the tub the whole time.
> >>>
> >>>16. Partial dry off.
> >>>
> >>>17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles.
> >>>Admire dick size.
> >>>
> >>>18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on
> >>>the floor.
> >>>
> >>>19. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
> >>>
> >>>20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your
> >>>waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off
> >>>the towel, grab your dick, go "Yeah baby" and thrust
> >>>your pelvis at her.
> >>>
> >>>21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to
> >>>get dressed.
> >>>
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