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爱情新解(10)Our little life

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛One day I accompanied my mother to a dental office. While waiting I picked up a book to read. Each page had one picture and some witty comments. One of them was a little gold fish in a small fish bowl with a cat staring at the fish. The caption was “I am going to take control of my life”. You can tell the fish’s unshakeable determination from its big eyes and the cat’s pent-up aggression from its paw.

That image hasn’t left me ever since.

Paul is our friend. He had been doing different odd jobs for his whole life while pursuing his dream to become a famous standup comedian. He was broke several times and barely got by. An unexpected opportunity led him into an Internet business, selling used professional equipment. Now the business is good and he bought himself all the toys, Mercedes sedan, BMW Z3 convertible, laptop, digital camera and PDA etc. He loves toys. Now and then he would call us, complaining that the business is slowing down or business is too good and he doesn’t have enough help. We try our best to give him suggestions or simply lend an ear to listen. One time I said to Ray, “It seems everybody has their own problems, no matter whether they are rich or poor. The problems seem to fill up their life. “ “Yep, everybody has a little life. People are only able to see what they can see. “ He replied.

We all want to have control over our life, whether it’s career, relationships, family or our wild mind. When we are just about to get a grasp of it, we are thrown off balance by other external forces, such as layoffs, breakups or other unexpected events like illness or death.

Whenever I become obsessed with problems in my life, that little gold fish and the expression “our little life” will come to my mind. I will tell myself, “Yes, my little life is very real and important to me but don’t forget there is a much bigger world outside. Even if there is somebody in our life who is influential, there are other people or things for us to explore and guide us to our next level.”

It is all about perspective: the microcosm of the self and the macrocosm of the universe. While we try our best to take control, we also need to get comfortable with the fact that there are many unanticipated events that shape our life. Life is probably not about fighting or controlling rather about surrendering. It is about finding the path that is our destiny and moving forward.

Step by step, I learned to look beyond my little life and adjust my perspective. I am also more willing to surrender to the higher order of the universe.


Thanks for reading.

January 8, 2004 Hawaii

P.S. In considering perspective, I just learned a new way of looking at finite and infinite time continuums. I might want to share with you in my next story, “Jack, would you come with me?”

Also I met an artist the other day; I adore her works. I'm including the link here for your enjoyment.

http://janetdavis.com/更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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  • 枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 爱情新解(10)Our little life
    • After all these years
      I would say, life is not about being perfect, but have fun, appreciate and be real. After all, Titanic is a drama, not everyone will be in a novel situation like that. By the way, I would put "Mermaid" or "Above the clouds" of Janet Davis in my private bathroom. Light and humorous. :)
      • Good idea!
        How come I have never thought about my bathroom. That is one of the best places for her paintings. (No offense to her ^_^)
        • actually,
          I think bathroom deserves nice ambience as much as bedroom, plant, candle, painting, you name it.
          • Absolutely...
            Whenever I have a chance, I would like to peek into other people's bathrooms...:P And some of them are really well appointed. When I travel, the first thing I check out is the bathroom. :-))
            • ^_^
    • Is Paul still trying to be a comedian?
      Perhaps it is the after effect of the new year. Recently I started to ponder about life, career, dream, etc. I really wish I could have pursued my dreams, poor or rich, never looked back. The more one accumulates, the harder it is to give up.
      • At one point, his friends finally told him he was not good at performance...it was a very painful experience for him...
        He probably gave up his expectation to become a big star...but he said he would open a bar or club in Brazil after he made enough money and he would perform in his own club. I guess that is his passion. It is great to have recognition, but if not, hey, just follow your passion.
        • jesus
          u still there? seems i missed the opportunity to dive with you couple.
          • 你回来了?还有不到五天就离开了,很不舍啊,很快就去你家乡了,心情略有好转
            你的旅程?潜水没?看到鱼没?火山喷射?Luau? 吃了什么好吃的?
            • 很羡慕你呢。我都两年没回老家了。
              oahu,kauai,big inland都是3,2天。感觉最好的是kauai,没去maui,不敢说最好。当然潜水乐。不过是snuba。自己玩了几次snorkel。在ka'paa和大岛kona以南的一个宝地。真的是宝地呢。鱼多,还有tortle。火山去了。没赶上喷发。就看冒气来着。luau去pcc参加了一次。好吃的?啃了好几个芋头。hoho。好像时间和你错过了。
              • snuba感觉如何?
                有没有感觉air passage(从空气源到肺部)太长?我还没试过。

                我一直都在阿。怎么样,总的感觉如何?
                • 还成吧。对俺这种没潜过的人来说。
                  开始不习惯,觉得气不够用,hoho,后来就好了。潜到底了,大概4,5米吧,然后喂鱼。好玩。鱼的胆子都很大。看人看得早习惯了。总体感觉,不错牙,就是太贵了。路程没太安排好。其实呆一个岛(我觉得kauai就不错)。省不少岛间机票。下次就扎maui,玩个10天半个月的。。。
                  • 哦,如果潜4-5米,可以理解;如果太深的话,估计所谓的air passage就太长了。我很想试试,没有scuba那么多设备,又比snorkeling深入灵活
                    是啊,有机会好好地探索一个岛,也是很不错的
    • 记得上一篇说after turn over control of our own life, we have surrendered our power and reduced ourselves to a state of pain and weakness, 这一篇是more willing to surrender to the higher order of the universe.
      到底who has the power, us or the higher order of universe? 也许turn over control 并不一定是pain or weakness, 如果选择一个值得信赖的人或是"higher order" to turn over. 碰到过不少要做手术的病人,要向他详细解释手术,他却不想知道。另一些人则是事无巨细都要问得清清楚楚。人各不相同,也许重要的是了解自己的能力和局限,该control时control,该放手时放手?
      • 这两篇
        看起来是有矛盾的,如何把握自己,如何又不过于控制,实在是比较难。。。我领悟到了一些,但是还没有到100%。

        “人各不相同,也许重要的是了解自己的能力和局限,该control时control,该放手时放手? ”是我想要表达的,不知道表达清楚了没有?On one hand, we control what we can control; on the other hand, follow the higher order and go with the flow...
        • we shouldn't control anything, including ourself. We should make a decision and act after analyzation and balance of all situation and condition.