本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛We have a good friend. She is an Italian American in her early forties. For many years, she has been struggling in her relationships. Nothing ever seems to work out. She is a very direct, open and talented woman with a successful career. I am really curious about her life. Is it terrible to live alone? Does she worry about her future? How can she live a life without a partner or children? When she gets old, will loneliness be unbearable?
If you have a chance to meet her, the first thing you will notice probably is her frizzy and voluminous red hair. She will kiss you on the lips, which will surprise many people. You will feel her overwhelming friendliness right away. On the other hand, you really don’t want to be her enemy, because she can be extremely tough to deal with. In her world, there is no gray, only black and white.
Now and then we would get phone calls or emails from her. And that is when I would start wondering about her life. To me, it is unthinkable to live a life alone. One time, I asked Ray how she was doing. He replied, “She finally made peace with herself”. I was quite taken aback and asked, “What do you mean by making peace with herself? Are you telling me she was fighting with herself all the time? How can it be?” Ray answered, “Well, she finally recognized normal relationships didn’t work for her. Instead of suffering with them, she started to rely more on friendships and less on relationships. She is mentoring an abused teenager with a bad childhood. She travels at least once a year and her career is taking off. She is happy.”
I still couldn’t get a complete grasp of making peace with oneself. As usual, I stored that piece of information in the back of my mind. Life goes on, I have my own problems and obstacles to deal with. Until one day, it was like being struck by lightening. Finally I understood the meaning of it. Me and my other Me’s have reached a peace agreement amongst ourselves.
Making peace with oneself is an unconditional acceptance and love of who we are; it is having a realistic view of what we can do and what we cannot. Also it is listening and following our heart. When our mind and heart start working together, we’ve achieved an alignment with our destiny.
It is a wonderful feeling after you make peace with yourself. You feel a burden off your shoulders and instead of continuing to struggle you make the best of whatever situation you find yourself in. Day to day life becomes more and more colorful and meaningful. Instead of wanting something beyond your reach, you learn to treasure what you have.
So?
So in the coming new year, let’s sign a cease-fire agreement and make peace with ourselves.
Happy New Year to all of you!
December 30, 2003 Hawaii
Coming…
爱情新解（5) Redefinition
爱情新解（6) Are you C type of O type?更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
If you have a chance to meet her, the first thing you will notice probably is her frizzy and voluminous red hair. She will kiss you on the lips, which will surprise many people. You will feel her overwhelming friendliness right away. On the other hand, you really don’t want to be her enemy, because she can be extremely tough to deal with. In her world, there is no gray, only black and white.
Now and then we would get phone calls or emails from her. And that is when I would start wondering about her life. To me, it is unthinkable to live a life alone. One time, I asked Ray how she was doing. He replied, “She finally made peace with herself”. I was quite taken aback and asked, “What do you mean by making peace with herself? Are you telling me she was fighting with herself all the time? How can it be?” Ray answered, “Well, she finally recognized normal relationships didn’t work for her. Instead of suffering with them, she started to rely more on friendships and less on relationships. She is mentoring an abused teenager with a bad childhood. She travels at least once a year and her career is taking off. She is happy.”
I still couldn’t get a complete grasp of making peace with oneself. As usual, I stored that piece of information in the back of my mind. Life goes on, I have my own problems and obstacles to deal with. Until one day, it was like being struck by lightening. Finally I understood the meaning of it. Me and my other Me’s have reached a peace agreement amongst ourselves.
Making peace with oneself is an unconditional acceptance and love of who we are; it is having a realistic view of what we can do and what we cannot. Also it is listening and following our heart. When our mind and heart start working together, we’ve achieved an alignment with our destiny.
It is a wonderful feeling after you make peace with yourself. You feel a burden off your shoulders and instead of continuing to struggle you make the best of whatever situation you find yourself in. Day to day life becomes more and more colorful and meaningful. Instead of wanting something beyond your reach, you learn to treasure what you have.
So?
So in the coming new year, let’s sign a cease-fire agreement and make peace with ourselves.
Happy New Year to all of you!
December 30, 2003 Hawaii
Coming…
爱情新解（5) Redefinition
爱情新解（6) Are you C type of O type?更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net