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@San Francisco

Am I wrong?

annayin(自由，离你多远?)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I am a simple person, not only in looking, but also in mind and brain.
I do not gossipy what happened in our neighbors or friends,
I also do not judge them based on their appearance or by their reflection.
Even the way they treating me do not bother me too much. They may think me indifference. True, I seldom phone others to ask if need help or chat often with daily life. I also do not pour my trouble to others. It is just not my style. I get used to be straight and leave it alone. Yes. I do not have close friends with very open mind and telesthesia friend. So I just do not want my trouble as gossipy though I know the pain will be release template. Beauty always needs distance to see. That is why we always have regret after we get so close.
Truly I believe what I do does not offend others, and it is hard for me to keep alert to be friend to everyone. I walk as my way and talk as my way, and be myself, not try to get favor and show off. If I do not like someone, I will not keep contact anymore. I believe if there is a friend, he will keep close. If not, he will walk away.

My husband and my brother always keep criticize me for my society skills. They are good at this and they seems have a lot of friends. They want to change me like them…

Last night, we ran across one couple (Chineses) with baby in the park, which we know each other and we were live in the same apartment before. My son is older then their baby. And my son wants to eat worm candy. My husband asks me to give the baby. I told my husband in front of them, “ No, he can not eat. He is too young.” Because for Jason I also do not want to give him, though it is not dangerous issue for my son. But it is dangerous for the baby. For my son, I do not want him to stick to candy. I think the baby’s parents are the same. My husband asks me again to give the baby. I said the same word again. Then later after we were home, my husband complains me about this.
He said what they would think about you. I said I do not think they were upset. I concern about their baby. My husband said, you should ask to offer, and then let them decide. I said I knew it was not safe for him, why should I offer. If they think I am mean, it is their problem. You see for a lot of this kind of small thing, we have a big gap

I really do not know if I am wrong or right. And need I change ?更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
(#1339881@0)
Last Updated: 2003-8-20
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下家园 / 家庭与子女 / Am I wrong? -annayin(自由，离你多远?); 2003-8-20 {2383} (#1339881@0)
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I am a simple person, not only in looking, but also in mind and brain.
    I do not gossipy what happened in our neighbors or friends,
    I also do not judge them based on their appearance or by their reflection.
    Even the way they treating me do not bother me too much. They may think me indifference. True, I seldom phone others to ask if need help or chat often with daily life. I also do not pour my trouble to others. It is just not my style. I get used to be straight and leave it alone. Yes. I do not have close friends with very open mind and telesthesia friend. So I just do not want my trouble as gossipy though I know the pain will be release template. Beauty always needs distance to see. That is why we always have regret after we get so close.
    Truly I believe what I do does not offend others, and it is hard for me to keep alert to be friend to everyone. I walk as my way and talk as my way, and be myself, not try to get favor and show off. If I do not like someone, I will not keep contact anymore. I believe if there is a friend, he will keep close. If not, he will walk away.

    My husband and my brother always keep criticize me for my society skills. They are good at this and they seems have a lot of friends. They want to change me like them…

    Last night, we ran across one couple (Chineses) with baby in the park, which we know each other and we were live in the same apartment before. My son is older then their baby. And my son wants to eat worm candy. My husband asks me to give the baby. I told my husband in front of them, “ No, he can not eat. He is too young.” Because for Jason I also do not want to give him, though it is not dangerous issue for my son. But it is dangerous for the baby. For my son, I do not want him to stick to candy. I think the baby’s parents are the same. My husband asks me again to give the baby. I said the same word again. Then later after we were home, my husband complains me about this.
    He said what they would think about you. I said I do not think they were upset. I concern about their baby. My husband said, you should ask to offer, and then let them decide. I said I knew it was not safe for him, why should I offer. If they think I am mean, it is their problem. You see for a lot of this kind of small thing, we have a big gap

    I really do not know if I am wrong or right. And need I change ?更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • 你没有错！估计你是所谓知识分子家庭的孩子，通病！人生就是演戏，很多东西只是做给别人看得。 -m30(m30); 2003-8-20 (#1339891@0)
    • 如果这个已经开始困扰你的生活，那可能就是有点什么需要改变。 -march2000(abc); 2003-8-20 (#1339898@0)
    • 小事一件，没什么关系的。 -pingle(:-&); 2003-8-20 (#1339906@0)
      • You do not understand. If he is near me, I am neverous about making mistake. But more mistake. -annayin(自由，离你多远?); 2003-8-21 (#1340590@0)
        • #1339987 Talk to your husband. Let him know your feelings. -pingle(:-&); 2003-8-21 (#1340594@0)
          • He knew this. He expect my change. But it is very difficult for me to change. Since I am like a person talk by heart not by brain. -annayin(自由，离你多远?); 2003-8-21 (#1340600@0)
    • 你做得很对。如果那对夫妻是明理的人，应该会感谢你的小心谨慎。 -diver(); 2003-8-20 (#1339925@0)
    • "No matter what they tell us / No matter what they do / No matter what they teach us / What we believe is true / I can't deny what I belive / I can't be what I 'm not / I know I'll love forever/ -safina(Rise of Nations); 2003-8-20 {172} (#1339936@0)
      This is one of my favourite song: NO MATTER WHAT. Every time when I feel confused and frustrated, I sing this song to myself to keep calm and have faith in my ablity again.
      • Yes. I was really lost confidence before. But later I found my way to stand, no matter how lonely I am. -annayin(自由，离你多远?); 2003-8-21 (#1340587@0)
    • 嗯，我倒是觉得你老公说的有道理呢。“you should ask to offer, and then let them decide"。没什么对错，只是礼节和习惯吧：） -dropoutinmiami(饺子-抓紧时间过夏天); 2003-8-20 (#1339970@0)
      • 万一碰上对2了吧唧的父母，再万一出点什么意外，即使自己不用负责也逃不出自责吧？况且法律在这方面如何规定的我们也不知道。 -rockywei(落基山); 2003-8-20 (#1339983@0)
      • 嗯。但老公应该比较了解自己的老婆是个什么样的人，不应该多说，让对方感觉受责备。因为这种“面儿”上的事情怎么处理，不是一朝一夕可以改变的，也没有必要去强行改变。人跟人不同，要是我，可能我连自己的儿子也不会给买那个糖果。 -pingle(:-&); 2003-8-20 (#1339987@0)
      • 只有无害的东西才可以那样，那叫客气。如果明知对baby不好也offe,做人也太虚伪不负责了吧。即使是他们决定要不要，真出问题，也要负责的。 -diver(); 2003-8-20 (#1339988@0)
        • 天哪，这么多谴责？顺便问问什么是worm candy？不是那种长长的酸酸的挺有嚼头的糖吧（如果是，我倒是挺爱吃）：） -dropoutinmiami(饺子-抓紧时间过夏天); 2003-8-20 (#1339999@0)
          • 我也爱吃.:-) -lazycat(落花人独立); 2003-8-20 (#1340030@0)
          • yes. like worm. juice candy. -annayin(自由，离你多远?); 2003-8-21 (#1340763@0)
    • 你 为 什 么 不 能 把 理 由 说 得 更 清 楚 一 些 呢 。 很 多 事 情 不 须 你 为 别 人 作 决 定 的 。 你 可 以 把 糖 给 他 们 以 护 住 老 公 面 子 ， 同 时 明 确 声 明 吃 很 危 险 。 -frankbd(三 缄 其 口); 2003-8-20 (#1340018@0)
      • Yes. You are right. That is my problem. I always assume others knows. I did not think others may not understand. -annayin(自由，离你多远?); 2003-8-21 (#1340583@0)
    • 你 做 的 没 错 ， 但 可 以 更 好 。 你 知 道 吃 糖 不 好 ， 他 们 未 必 。 你 应 假 设 别 人 不 懂 而 把 这 点 顾 虑 指 出。 这 样 就 不 用 觉 得 委 屈 了 。 -frankbd(三 缄 其 口); 2003-8-20 (#1340021@0)
      • 她说了两遍了。在她说明后，她丈夫还要她给，倒是不太给她面子，应该帮着解释才是。 -diver(); 2003-8-20 (#1340036@0)
        • 9494,估计是她lg一直对她这方面有意见. -lazycat(落花人独立); 2003-8-20 (#1340041@0)
        • 他 老 公 当 然 是 不 懂 事 ， 为 了 臭 面 子 胡 来 。 关 键 是 要 和那 对 说 明 -frankbd(三 缄 其 口); 2003-8-20 (#1340062@0)
    • 我觉得你没错，很多老外也是这样，非常直爽的说出他们认为对的或者错的，并不管你心里是怎么想的。 -cocojj(咖啡可可茶); 2003-8-20 {224} (#1340313@0)
      其实你也不知道对方怎么想，也许你给他们，他们反而认为不好，但可能会碍于面子收下。就象有一次一个老外给我女儿一块巧克力，还很热情的帮她拨开。我也不好意思说这个对孩子不好。结果吃的把我一件衣服都弄脏了。真不知道是该谢他还是骂他。
    • Thanks everyone here. for understanding and concern. Before I hesitate to post it, since I think nobody care. Now I feel much better. -annayin(自由，离你多远?); 2003-8-21 (#1340576@0)
    • Nonetheless, I feel that you really need to improve your communication skill, this is a society needs more friendship and communication. -xinlin(痛苦的学习着的欣琳); 2003-8-21 {293} (#1340615@0)
      U could not survice if you are lack of communication skill either in life or at work.

      I am not sure whether you are working now or not, if the answer is yes, I bet your supervisor doesn't like this kind of style.....

      No intention to offend you, just my sincere suggestion.
      Good luck.
      • In fact, I am very society person from my little age -annayin(自由，离你多远?); 2003-8-21 {925} (#1340698@0)
        In fact, I am very society person from my little age to university.
        I am very open and happy person. I had a lot of friends. My old friends and teaches, family always believe I am outstanding and will be successful. But my problem is I can get well with people like me who need not care for words and care for impression on others.
        I do not know how to read people. I am careless with great courage. I organized a lot special party in university. And I came here alone to prepare the tough new life. Two months I found a very good job, and my managers like me very much. Till now they value me as a very great team worker. Though my English is not good which keep me away from speak up. They care for each person and me. Talk is cheap. This is true for me in my current work.

        For me I know my limits. If I can read people and be good at flavoring others, life is totally different. Who knows it better or worse?
        • so, seems like that's your Hubby's problem! -lakeshore(lakeshore); 2003-8-21 {266} (#1340830@0)
          he's making you feel not so confident in your life, so, drop him! ;) as far as i know, your hubby speaks toooooooo much, always sounds like he know everthing, is that bother you? give him a punch, make him respect you and accept your way to live......haha poor jack
          • We are so different persons. 哎， 互补之后互斥。 -annayin(自由，离你多远?); 2003-8-21 (#1340943@0)
            • Hi I am glad you finally composed some chinese. Your English is sort of ...bad! Ha ha we are the same kind of person! Agree? -aa1(JR); 2003-8-21 (#1341535@0)
              • Never mind. I got a enough criticise. That is why I try my best to practice. But in rush. Sorry. -annayin(自由，离你多远?); 2003-8-22 (#1341917@0)

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